Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
