I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I deserve this hangover.
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