Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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