whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
