I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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