I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
