A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
