Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
