She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
