I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
