Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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