So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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