this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
