My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
