Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
