Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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