Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
