I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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