You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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