I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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