Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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