Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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