Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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