she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
