i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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