I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
