awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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