And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize