sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
