Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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