They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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