HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize