i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
