I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
