Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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