I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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