ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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