Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
