video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Someone came in the potted fern
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
