We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
