No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
40s are totally the cure
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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