why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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