if i can run in heels then i can drive
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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