did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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