plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
