No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
