just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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