Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
