Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
