How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
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Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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