I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
