we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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