so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
