My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize