He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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