i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
