I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
