After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
