So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
