May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
