Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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