I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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