I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
