Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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