He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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